Whacking my iPod

I’m thinking of doing something unthinkable. Never in a million years did I imagine it could come to this. I’m thinking about whacking my iPod. See, I want the new color screen iPod. I want it. I want it. I want it. I can’t stop thinking about it. But I can’t justify having 2 iPods. I only have one set of ears. There are only 2 things in the way of my happiness with another iPod:

Justification to my wife that I need one
And
The death of my 2G iPod

Those 2 thoughts are related. If my iPod stopped working, I would have better chance of convincing her. After all, what would I listen to on the train? How could I transfer my files to and from work? I’ve been in this place before. A year ago I wrote about how I was lusting after the 3G iPod. I finished the article embracing my “old skool iPod”. That was soooo last year. That was before color screens, boatloads of accessories, and 60GB. Temptation is getting the best of me. Every time I look at my grayscale screen I cringe. I imagine myself with the color screen. I imagine walks during lunch scrolling through pictures. Getting rid of my old iPod means spending my life with a newer, lighter, skinnier iPod.

I was introduced to it by Hadley. It was innocent enough. I knew it existed but I was happy with my current situation. But once I held it, a spark shot through my body. It’s new navigation wheel felt like something I had never experienced before. That’s when the obsession started. My 2G has no idea. I still play with it and it’s still always by my side. But after hours I find myself looking at quicktime VRs�spinning it around. Seeing it from the top and then from the bottom. It has gotten out of control. I found myself imagining listening to the color screen iPod during shuffle play. I need to resolve this.

A major issue is that my iPod won’t just die already. I know Apple makes well-made products but come on! It’s been 2 years! It would be so much easier if I thought the end was near. Then I wouldn’t have this mess on my hands. But no. It has to still give me a good 6 1/2 hours of battery life on a full charge. It has to be virtually scratch free thanks to my iPod Armor. Besides a busted headphone jack, it’s as good as new. I need to plan. This needs to be done discreetly, swiftly and without prejudice.

How could I do it? I could spill coffee on it. I could accidently drop it. Or better yet, it could go missing. Never to be seen again. All plausible explanations to my wife for my iPod’s untimely demise. But could I get away with it? The problem is I don’t think I can bring myself to do it. I mean will it ever stop? Who’s to say, in a couple of months, a newer one won’t come along? I’m sick to my stomach about this. Is this part of Apple’s big plan? I feel like a heat-seeking missile that never hits the target. I head for the first target (3G) then a hotter target comes into view (4G) until finally I just explode. Do they really expect us to keep on buying the newest model? And what about the price? My plan would be perfect if I was talking $300. But $600 is some serious hush money. But it looks really good in my hand. It could be done. I might be able to actually pull this off. I think I might do it. Stay tuned�